Fathers
My dad was addicted to alcohol before I was born. When he was sober, he was a decent man. He was in so much emotional pain, he was hardly ever sober. He drank himself to an early death. Here is the irony. When I was a teenager and I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. I replied ” I want to be a father” Not a baseball player, astronaut, president or movie star. A father. When my first wife was pregnant with our four children to be; I knew who they were, before they were born. We didn’t even have any alternative names.
I adored my children while they were growing up. Alas, I made choices that had me leave them when they were quite young. I often ask myself what is the difference between an alcoholic father than a father that leaves? My heart says, not much. The deepest pain that I still carry today is not being with my children as they grew up. I could share with you the reasons of my heart, as to why I made the choice. However, I will not.
Two of my sons have grown up to be excellent fathers. I am proud of them. One has never chosen to experience fatherhood. So, on Father’s day, I am often sad. Three of my children and my step daughter do call and wish me happy fathers day. I am thankful for that. I always want this post to be an uplifting one. I will leave you with this. Parents always do the best they can do. My dad and myself were suffering inside in a way that didn’t support the ones we love. I hope that many of you have paternal parenting that has helped you become the wonderful persons that you are. I will close, in saying to my dad ” I hope that you are experiencing total love and joy and freedom wherever in the Universe you are! From my tender heart to yours, Thomas